I Will, I Do

"Good morning, did you have a good weekend?"

"Actually, it was wonderfully, insanely beautiful." I said with a smile.

"Really? What did you do?"

"Oh, nothing much... just took a drive to ocean to hang out with a bunch of cyber strangers who flew in from around the world and married my friends on the beach while my daughter chewed on the hem of my dress."

Blank stare...

But that's pretty much the way it went!

Late Friday night, I'm still packing and finishing up the fresh-water pearl jewelry I had committed myself to make for the bride as a wedding gift, when the phone rang. It was the groom, "We wanted to know if you'd do us a favor?" he said...

It seemed that the preacher couldn't make it. Everyone else was there - from Tennessee, from Montana, from South Carolina, from North Carolina, from the United Kingdom, and from other random locations I don't recall... long time friends and cyber family. But no preacher. "You want me to do WHAT? Have you lost your damn minds?"

"Well everyone is here and we don't have the paperwork; we'll have to do the legal stuff later... But it would really mean a lot to us, if you would perform the wedding..."

I laugh hysterically at the mere thought, the absurdity of it all. "Okay, Sure. You know I can't say no to you," I tell them.

I walk out to the patio where Kevo sits engrossed in a book written by a recovering crack addict in rehab, smoking away at one of his massively big, stinky cigars. I am still laughing. "Are you finished packing yet?" he asks for the sake of hearing himself ask, knowing full well I hadn't.

"You're never gonna believe this..." I say to him...

Saturday morning, we wake prematurely at 0600 on 5 hours of sleep in an effort to leave by seven. We finally hit the road by 9. Exhausted and recovering from my second attack of strep throat in 2 months, Kev had no mercy for me, refusing to let me sleep. So we listened to various talk radio stations along the way, losing reception at each instance that the dialogue became slightly engaging. Inevitably the conversation between us turned to politics - an ugly and infuriating subject to have with a lawyer from Texas, especially if you happen to be a culturally endearing bleeding-heart, live-and-let-live type. And as always, we concluded with huffed silence and feelings of alienation, which lasted until we reached near to our destination when we were forced to rejoin forces in an effort to figure out where the hell we were going.

Upon arrival, I immediately recognized the Brits, who were unsure who exactly I was until I introduced myself by my online pseudonym, then the hugs commenced. Then there was this one and that one with images of avatars popping into my minds eye. It was strangely exciting "meeting" so many people I had carried on exchanges with for so long from across a computer screen... and here we all were, like old school friends reunited.

The nonchalant disorganization became quickly apparent as the keeper of the house announced at intervals, the bridge schedule to cross to the island. "Okay, we can leave in 15 minutes or in an hour," and hour after hour passed while girls made floral arrangements and put on make up, guys munched on chips and salsa, my daughter made many near successful attempts at boyfriend snatching, and everyone just kind-of caught up on real life. The eluded time table drove the lawyer to the brink of a nervous breakdown, which he cleverly disguised in whispered sarcasm every time I passed by. I mused quietly and kissed him on the head.

To add insult to injury, the two sons of one of the bridesmaids were watching a football game, Iowa State and somebody... not the one, however, that Kevo was interested in. He slyly asked the elder 10 year old, "You like football? You know Notre Dame is playing on the other chanel... You DON'T know who NOTRE DAME is?... The winningest team in the history of football?... Never heard of them?..." Nope. They'd never heard of Notre Dame. They wanted to watch Iowa and the other team. Being the mature adult, he politely retreats, sulking and mubbling something about improper parenting, returning to the porch swing to sulk amid the smog of second hand smoke.

At long last, flowers were made, cake set, hair was done up, dresses on, jewelry adorned, and photos and photos and photos before we finally caravaned toward Sunset Beach.

It was a beautiful day. The weather was perfect. The mix of laughter and forged life-long friendships permeated the atmosphere and we all, perfectly strange strangers stood barefoot in the sands, humbled at the couple who had all brought us to the moment that we shared. --A woman from Europe and a man from the foothills of North Carolina who had found the magic missing from their lives from across oceans, from across computer screens... And here we were wishing them the happily ever after they so deserved. For what they found in one another transcends everything physical. They had set lose from their souls, the homing pigeons who found themselves in the purest sense. And that is why, I could not say "no."

I stood before them all on the beach, speechless. While I am an excellent writer, I am to public speaking what a debutante is to backyard auto mechanics. It was painful but I managed. --I said something about how we were all joined by the love for these two people, to witness what they had defied the world in finding... I said something about how they had chosen one another as their mates, their other half and asked what they, before us all, could promise the other... Then the waterworks came... from the groom, from the bride, from the bridesmaids and groomsmen... from me. With his arms around the woman he loved, he looked into her eyes and said, "I promise you everything I can give you and all that I am." I didn't hear what she said for at this point they clung to one another in a teary embrace... It didn't really matter. It was all for them. I went on, adding in the love, honor, and cherish bit - I had hoped the lawyer would intervene with his dramatic courtroom performance ability, but he only whispered in my ear, "you forgot 'obey'" before I elbowed him in the stomach. All the while, my beautiful angel sat at my bare sandy feet and gnawed the hem of my red dress. --We all pronounced them husband and wife. Oh, and then the rings! Oops. "Yeah, you know what to do with them." ...The ceremony ended... in a group hug and I couldn't think of anything more perfect. =)

It would have been a clear and utter nightmare for any 'Bridezilla,' the entire day actually, but the ridiculous chaos only added to the bohemian charm. And for these two, for this group; it was a perfectly wonderful day.

Afterward, I thought of the perfect opening that I wish I had had at that moment... The description of a native american wedding ceremony before whitey landed upon the shores of the Brave New World - two people who come together before their elders and announce their wishes and upon the approval of all witnesses, they leave together to begin their new life, disappearing into the vast wilderness to forge their union before God and the natural world. Just as these two did on that day... Well, sort-of.

More photos and photos and quick dips in the sea, then the caravan journeyed back to the ancient, post Hurricane Hazel beach house where we all gorged ourselves on wedding cake.

Kevo mentioned a rumor of honeymoon tattoos; I was in mid-eyeroll when one of the bridesmaids asked if everyone was ready to go. He wasn't kidding. I broke down in hysterics again unable to contain my laughter. I mean really, what better ending to a day like this I thought to myself? Kevo, sweetness that he is, offered to stay with my daughter and watch the remainder of the football game, which is what he wanted desperately to do anyway. I took his Jeep and drove with the Brits, who were thrilled to ride in a 'real american SUV'... and off we sailed into the sunset, toward the ink shop to commemorate the union of insanity and friendship.

---

"The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."
--Victor Hugo