Eid Mubarak

Yesterday, upon returning from a leisurely picnic lunch basking in the beauty of the day at the university department's great "Chili Cook-off" fundraiser, I find that the UPS fairy had come bearing gifts... Imagine my euphoric shock to find a very large box addressed to yours truly from, of all places - beyond the pearly gates of heaven, a place also known as Godiva Chocolatier.

The card read simply, "EID Mubarak"

This was no ordinary box of chocolates mind you, but rather decadently generous 60 piece smorgasbord of everything delectably, erotically sinful... a gasp escaped me.

I remember the days living in Germany when I occasionally would slip into a favorite konditorei in whatever village or city I happened to have stolen off to, and drop an easy 50US bucks on a coveted bag of mixed truffels... white chocolate with rum fudge filling, dark chocolate raspberry, milk chocolate with vanilla cream, amoretto, coffee, cognac, butterscotch, white chocolate champagne... (O' can you taste your fluid mouth?) One would think I had thieved the crown jewels as I would then sneak off to cop-a-squat in some quiet corner in a garden by a fountain overlooking a most magically intoxicating landscape, where I would consume my wicked desire, mouthful by watering mouthful, with all the slow savory deliberateness of a forbidden young lover devouring his cosseted virgin. --Time would cease in my salacious intoxication as my enamored taste buds roused within me, something very primitive, very passionate, very 'almost' obscene. Pure unadulterated aphrodisiac.

After my gluttonous and orgastic rendezvous, having eaten half the bag, I would have a coffee before returning home where I would hoard the remainder of my chocolate lust in the underwear drawer of my bureau, least my [then] husband discover them. --Nothing, NOTHING in the world, can so quickly draw forth the Mr. Hyde in me - greedy, possessive, conniving, and completely, guiltlessly selfish - as can fine chocolates. I do NOT share. Okay, well, I might if I have a lot, but it would have to be a lot; certainly I would not share with just anyone and the privileged would be rationed!

So, after parting with a few obligatory sacrificial morsels, as the prize had already been spotted by curious colleagues, I left the office, box under arm, to return home where I immediately hid my succulent stash in my room. --I mean, sure my [ex]husband is no longer a threat in the matter, however, let's be real - depending on the source, robberies occur every 8 - 54 seconds in america! I'm taking no chances! We're talking CHOCOLATE. We're talking Godiva.

I wrote my mysterious far-away benefactor to thank him for his insane generosity, to which he replied,

"I may not talk to you everyday but you are in my thoughts and knowing who you are I have way too much respect for you. This was just the least I could do to say I really appreciate knowing someone like you."

Ouch. Juicy eyes... Need chocolate...

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"The lusts and greeds of the body scandalize the Soul; but it has to come to heel."
--Logan Pearsall Smith, Afterthoughts, 1931