Getting Away

For anyone who is not a single mother, or parent rather, it is impossible to understand what a weekend get-a-way truly means - how sacred - yes, sacred. And even among single parents, many are fortunate enough still to have some sort of joint support, physical and/or financial, however challenging it may be, with the care of said children. I do not. And most families are blessed with typically developing children who reach their milestones on cue, crawling, walking, speaking, playing soccer, dressing Barbies, and asking millions of questions by age 7. I do not.

The last time I actually went away by myself, my $1,200.00 Nikon grew legs and walked out of my house. Even more infuriating than having been robbed is the very idea that I entrusted the care of my precious child to a thief.

Fortunately, my daughter loves to travel, loves to go, ride, see and partake in adventures. From the time when she was a tiny infant, the two of us would hop in the car and spend the afternoon in Nuremberg or Rothenburg ob der Tauber strolling about sight-seeing and dining at sidewalk cafes - me, having a bowl of gulash suppen and she, having a nice warm boob of breast milk. Back in the states, we've traveled cross country together by car, day trips to the beach and such, but I profess, these days, often a mere trip to the grocery store is enough to wear me out now that she's finally walking... and (thanks to God) running.

I've been a single mom for over 5 years and, although I think I would shoot myself if I had to relive it all over again, I honestly cannot imagine my life any other way. She is my greatest teacher; she is my strength.

Friends think me strong and tell me, "I don't know how you do it," while well-meaning strangers overcome with the urge to blab something they think profoundly kind say, "It takes special people to do special things..." Well, many days, I don't know how I do it either and I've heard that 'special people' line too many fucking times. It may very well be so, but it really doesn't mean shit coming from some self-righteous jackass who can't see past the nose on the end of their own face.

What is it worth to you, to sit, alone, and read a book for hours, uninterrupted?

This past weekend, I did just that... on a train bound for D.C. -- and when I got there, I had no agenda and no responsibility save enjoying the company of a dear friend - walking, talking, dining, and laughing... and it was priceless.

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"The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be."
--Paul Valery